


far apart, yet so much closer

by ayahinas



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Fluff without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 16:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayahinas/pseuds/ayahinas
Summary: emotions become much clearer when they’re far away from each other.





	far apart, yet so much closer

he hadn’t been here for nearly a month.

hinami grew anxious as time flew by. ayato was strong, it was clear as a day, but disappearing for such a long while was always concerning, and it even seemed like touka shared her unspoken fear. hinami spent hours on hours close to the entrance of the base in the past week, trying to catch a whiff of his scent. nothing.

usually when she is this distressed, he would come by, his hand on her shoulder. he never spoke too much, but he was close enough to cover her and shield her from the world just for a little while, gave her time to confront with herself and to let go of the hard times.

but this time, he wasn’t here to make it better, and hinami was touch starved for his embrace.

she had bit her lip, and went to her room after another disappointing day. it was 11pm already.  _come home soon. please._ she sighed. she will trust in him. ayato is good at what he does. she would believe he would come through that door soon, just like how he believed that she would survive cochlea.

-

a week later, hinami could finally let go of her worries.

she could hear his distinctive steps hit the concrete outside of the base, and hinami smiled to herself as she ran outside of her room and towards the entrance. miza, which had been with her at the same moment nearly fell back as hinami suddenly moved. “what the hell?!” she yelled as she followed the younger.

“he’s back!” she announced while she skipped down that led downstairs, and miza just sighed and gave a glad grin as she saw hinami’s excited face. miza decided it’s better she’d go to tell touka. both she and hinami were worried sick through the entire mood, and everyone knew it, even if they didn’t say it directly.

miza would never say this in front of her or ayato, but they deserved a few moments alone together, anyway.

hinami was out of the base in less than minute, the door opening and hitting the wall attached to it. she looked around, and found ayato walking slowly towards her direction from the right. she could also see his subordinates going towards the area where the aogiri children played. he himself looked exhausted, which is probably why he didn’t go as well. “ayato-kun!”

his tired eyes rose to look at her, and he raised a hand to wave her as he walked closer. “hi, hina.” his dark blue hair was messy, and his jacket made him look like he returned from war, but when he used that nickname, he always seemed a tiny bit softer to her.

“do you want coffee? you have a long meeting with kaneki ahead of you, probably..” she giggled. ayato frowned, his mouth immediately forming a pout when she mentioned a meeting. she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. most of the time, ayato prefers to give mission reports straight away and end with it, so it became a regular thing to just discuss missions right after they’re completed for them. ayato didn’t seem like he’s up for that, now.

“yeah… thanks. i’m gonna ask him if we can postpone it to tomorrow, but it’ll be nice anyway.”

hinami nodded, and went to goat’s makeshift kitchen to start boil water. ayato followed her inside the base, but stayed to in the main room as touka and kaneki were standing right there. making the coffee had become a regular thing for her ever since she was sixteen. most of the aogiri members liked to ask her to make them coffee once in a while.

making coffee for ayato after missions became a routine back then. he wouldn’t say it straightforward, but she knew he liked the way she made it. he wouldn’t bother to ask for more if he didn’t, and calm look in his eyes would not be there, otherwise.

the coffee was ready a few minutes later. hinami held a cute turquoise cup with a black bunny drawn on it and poured the liquid in. she spotted the cup once when she was out buying some more coffee beans with nishio. he suggested to buy it as a joke, but the cup became ayato’s official cup according to everyone in goat in less than five days. ayato wasn’t too pleased with the teasing he got for it, but he ended up using the cup frequently anyway.

hinami left the kitchen and saw ayato sitting on the couch in the main room, his head leaning back and resting on the top part of it. seemed like kaneki gave him a rest for today. hinami walked towards him, steady hands careful to not spill the coffee. upon a closer look, his eyes were closed. his relaxed face was always her favorite – it held the innocence they both had not been allowed to keep.

she sat next to him on the couch, setting the coffee on the small table to her side. it seemed like he fell asleep. he was breathing in and out steadily, and his long bangs were all over his face. maybe she should hint him they’re getting too long, but then again, the only competent hairdresser in goat is kaneki, and there is no way ayato would let him cut his hair.

she got an idea and rose from the couch, quickly running to ayato’s room. it was fairly empty, but it held a few things from when he was still in aogiri. she looked around his room if she can find what she was looking for. she saw an open box filled with his old bunny hoodie, his masks, and more. she skimmed it with her eyes, a found what she needed. ayato’s old hair clip!

it was a bit rusty by now, but it was still mostly colored silver. ayato used it a lot when she just joined aogiri. he seemed to use it less now, but hinami had to admit, she missed that look. he looked much younger when you took a good luck at his face.

she took the hair clip and headed back to ayato, still stuck in the exact same position. she stood behind the couch, behind where he sat. she took his bangs in her hand gently. ayato wasn’t a very light sleeper like her, but he was usually more guarded than most. she carefully clipped the hair back on his head. yeah, seeing his forehead for a change definitely made him feel a bit younger. she laughed to herself, and decided she should probably leave him be, now. she doesn’t really want to, but he deserves his rest.

-

two hours later, at 10pm, hinami heard a knock on her door. her head rose from a book she’s been reading while sitting in her bed.

“you can enter.” she informed the one on the person on the other side of the wall. who would come by here at 10pm, though? most people were asleep.

the door was opened, and ayato entered the room. he kept his hair up, she noticed, and her eye crinkled into an eye smile.

“didn’t mean to fall asleep on you like that. sorry.” his apology was unnecessary, but hinami just shook her head and brushed it off. it didn’t matter to her at all. she rather see him be comfortable asleep than fighting to stay awake while talking. “the coffee was good.”

“wasn’t it cold by the time you woke up, though?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

“you made it, so it was good anyway.”

hinami looked at the floor, blushing slightly from the comment.

ayato made his way closer to her and sat on the edge of the bed. he seemed hesitant to talk. hinami felt her heart pulse rise in speed. she didn’t know how to react to him at the moment. was there something wrong? he was so quiet. they were both quiet people, for the most part, but… it felt strange.

“…ayato-kun, is anything wrong?” she asked hesitantly.

her eyes shifted to stare at hers. he pressed his lips together before he talked.

“i missed you.” he said and looked away, but either way, his hand fell on hers. “i really missed you.”

hinami’s blush grew, and she repositioned herself to sit on the edge of the bed near him in order to relieve her need to somehow  _move,_ as she felt flutters swell up inside of her. her tense muscles refused to relax, no matter what she did.

“…i missed you too. i was really worried. an entire month…” she replied, refusing to look at his face. this must have sounded silly; they’ve been apart for far longer when she was in cochlea. but at the time, she had so many other worries, about her big brother and her impending death sentence. this time… she just felt his lack of presence bothered her much more.

“it really was too long. i really fucking glad it’s over.” he sighed.

hinami took his hand in hers. he still seemed disturbed. she wanted it to change. “if you need something, tell me.” she said calmly, rubbing circles into his palm with her fingers.

he tightened his grip on her hand.

“next time i’m on a mission, come with me.”

hinami didn’t need any time to know what to say. “i will.”

“hinami…” he said and she timidly raised her head, which was set looking on the floor to look at him. the moon shined on her revealing her blushing face.

before she could react, his lips were on hers, moving slowly but surely on hers. the kiss was soft, and not forceful. it was her first one, and she didn’t particularly know what to do, but she followed his lead. it felt like they were hesitating, just like how they were in the entire conversation, but the fluttering feelings still rushed through her. it felt right.

they stopped to breathe, and hinami wasn’t quite sure her heart could take the view in front of her. ayato was so red, it contrasted with his hair. his expression was unsure, as if he was asking for validation, but at the same time was so determined to not look away from her she almost melted.

_i love him._

hinami didn’t say a word. she scooted closer to him, raising her hands and locked them together behind his neck. his hands immediately went behind her lower back, holding her as well. he smiled and closed the gap again. something changed in this kiss.

it was less delicate, less gentle. ayato dragged her onto his lap, one of his hand rising to her hair while the other was holding her securely, making sure she won’t fall. they could hear each other’s heart pace, and the rhythm of their kisses matched it, quiet moans elicited by both sides as the kiss went on.

one of hinami’s hands fell from its grip of the other and held onto ayato’s shirt, clinging to him as much as she can.

they continued until they had no choice but breathe, and hinami’s face fell onto ayato’s shoulder as he buried himself in her hair, nuzzling into it. suddenly, all the emptiness she felt while he was not here was gone.

after a few minutes of them just  _breathing_  each other to relaxation, ayato found the power to finally lift his head. “…i don’t think i will have the willpower to go on long missions without you from now on at all.” he snorted, but it was clear he meant every word in that sentence.

hinami chuckled.

“good, because i’d rather go with you anyway.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it ;;


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